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Post by Rilith on Mar 18, 2007 18:53:20 GMT
Maybe its me being all hormonal. But those of you that have just had babies or are PG again.... Do you manage to stay calm when people all around you are spouting drivel like "I have high risk results and am going to terminate if positive, cus I can't cope" Personally it makes me furious and I am getting worse the more I see of it. I just want to grab hold of them and shake them and scream in their faces that "OK its hard work sometimes, OK you have to put yourself out a little more than you would a "Normal" child, but OMG the rewards you get from it out weigh all the hard work.... Its a little person that needs help and if you do your best they can live a full independant life" GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Sorry rant over.... Maybe we need a soap box section... I would forever be hogging it !!!
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Post by shirley on Mar 18, 2007 20:04:37 GMT
So far I havent met anyone like this but if I do I imagine I will react exactly as you do Rilith, these types of people are just too selfish and dont deserve to have a special little one like we all do xxxxx
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Post by Tace on Mar 18, 2007 20:19:25 GMT
Rilith, you have to remember you are special and not everyone is as selfless and brave as us on here, I know we don't feel we are, but people around us see us like that (not them all granted) aren't the people you are talking about making the decision for themselves and we should respect that. I do know what you mean though, when I was pregnant with Leo my friend was pregnant also, 2 weeks between them, when she had the bloodtests she was high risk and went for an amnio, but all was fine, but she did say she would not have kept the baby if it was determined it had down's. this happened again with her second pregnancy and she still said the same thing (we don't talk much now). They think it was her that caused the high risk as both her boys are fine.
T x
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Post by lizzymd² on Mar 18, 2007 20:41:10 GMT
I know exactly how you feel, when i was on due in feb bounty boards, it was infuriating with all the posts "I'm high risk!" I was a total ambassador for downs kids and talked openly and postively about downs. However its hard fighting peoples ignorance and convincing them downs kids are great and it can be so rewarding. I went off bounty for a while till most test results had passed.
My friend was round yesterday to visit Niamh and her daughter born on same day as cameron was with her and you could see she was far more advanced than cameron but what a huffy girl she was. Crying at the drop of a hat whereas cameron was laughing at the drop of a hat! I would have 10 camerons to 1 of her
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Post by trinkle on Mar 18, 2007 22:01:16 GMT
I feel exactly the same now, but when I found out at 23wks pgnt I was going to have him adopted, we didn't think we would cope but that was just ignorance. We didn't know any people with a child with Downs, only had visions of the stereotypical adults. Also the negativity of the medical staff and long list of potential problems we were told about from the genetics councellors, even any positive things i raised with them were turned into negatives by them. There is still a lot of ignorance but if we can each save just a few babies lives from sharing experiencs of our wonderful children it is worth it. William is nothing like we expected and if someone had told us at that time we wouldn't have believed them, he is such "normal " child, full of fun, mischief and ahieving his goals, although most a little later. .
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Post by Rilith on Mar 19, 2007 9:43:47 GMT
I think I am going to have to stay off the due bords until it passes too Lizzy... Its really driving me barmy.... LOL
I do respect people choices, I always have... Its just when they say it as though they have already done the research when you know damn well all they have heard is the words "Downs Syndrome"
Ahhhh well... Never mind, the hormones will go away .... eventually... LOL
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Post by tina79 on Mar 19, 2007 14:03:26 GMT
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Post by max on Mar 19, 2007 17:41:38 GMT
Obviously I didn't know before I had Caleb but everyone on my due borad was talking about it and no one said they would abort which I was impressed with - when C was born they were really lovely and I know we have been used as an example to other people. Women on the boards have said "I have a friend... blah blah blah" and I have had emails from the friends wanting more info. I have quite a public job and have so much support and positivity - OK C doesn't look obviously "downsish" IYKWIM but I hope that maybe someone somewhere will see him and realise it's just not that big a deal nowadays. In fact some people I know have become quite militant in their annoyance that Downs is seen as a reason to abort!!! They say it's descrimination!
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Jo
New Member
William & Oliver
Posts: 46
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Post by Jo on Mar 19, 2007 21:13:30 GMT
Keep shouting people, rant as much as you like, why should we sit back. I am so proud of Oliver who does everything that his brothers do and more, gone of the days where they sat in the corner in elasticated jogging bottoms with there tongues hanging out, Downs children live full lives and have hissy fits just the same as their siblings. My brother has been trying for children for years and would love a child whatever, so how can people choose to terminate when some people would do anything for a child. Now I feel better for a rant, and yes a soap box would be great. We could get rid of so many hormones that way. So it's back to the bar of chocolate my boys bought me yesterday and that Will round the night off.
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Post by Jojo on Mar 24, 2007 23:00:18 GMT
Yes it makes me angry too, you got it spot on Tina, when you take it personally...me too......you know, I think what's wrong with my Lisa!!!
I was lucky when I was pg with Rhys, the subject wasn't really ever bought up in the board I was using.
Though can anyone remember the one Danni got involved in!! ( The girl who found out her baby had Downs and decided on a termination, as it apparently wasn't fair on her older children!) Everyone was sending her sympathy, and Danni and I were thinking....this woman is about to abort her child, and you're giving her sympathy for her 'braveness'!!!!Loads of people jumped on Danni's back,(though lots of people also stuck up for her) she was only sticking up for her rights.
It's very hard though not to say something....if only they knew what they were missing out on.....but some people just won't listen....or face the 'overwhealming burden' of having a less than perfect child.
That's my rant over LOL!!!
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Post by jenjane1 on Apr 4, 2007 12:26:28 GMT
Yes, I can relate to this one and it gets me furious! I am 11 weeks pregnant and and on the birth board I use, I must admit everyone has been really positive. I also joined a Having a baby over 35 board and that's where the problem has been. One lady wrote, if child had DS I would have to terminate because I wouldn't want the baby or siblings to suffer.... eh??? I kept calm and put in a post advising that this was ignorance etc etc. A few weeks later she came back on really excited that her tests had came back negative for DS. That's when I realised that the board wasn't for me. I just wanted to shout "You don't know what you're missing!!!"
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Post by karengriff on May 31, 2007 14:25:21 GMT
Hi every body this is my first post, my name is Karen I'm 53years young, got 7 kids and number 11 grandchild due in September. I had a DS brother Glyn the love of my life ,he passed away 17th Oct 2006 he was 50. About 25 years ago my parents and Glyn went on holiday to Malta ,and every where they went people would stop them and kiss Glyn and my mum and dad, they went for a drink at a bar and it happend there , my dad told the landlord who spoke English what had been happening, the landlord peplied " The Moltiese believe that God only gives children like Glyn to special people, so they had been blessed by God". How sweet is that ,I know it can be hard sometimes but just one little smile and a hug melts your heart . I miss that. : ( Glyn had a very cheeky sence of humor and his laugh was so infectious, sad or down days did'nt last long round him : ) he was the most loving little man, my little man. jenjane1, you are so spot on when you said " You do'nt know what you're missing". Ignorance is a sad thing but I and my kids soon put people right when it comes DS children, like the staring thing people do, do'nt just stand there with you that LOOK on there face RRRRRAAAAA make me so angry, I ask them is there a problem, if they say no then I say " Say hello they do'nt bite " . Well that bit of input, hope to talk to you again soon. TAKE CARE COS I CARE. XX PS Do'nt forget you've been bless by GOD xxxxx
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Post by Jojo on May 31, 2007 14:45:45 GMT
How lovely Karen, thanks for sharing that with us.
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Post by Jojo on May 31, 2007 14:47:03 GMT
Doh.....how rude of me!!!
WELCOME ABOARD!! Lol, sorry hun, hope you will stay around, I'm sure you'll have loads of advicefor us.
Jojo.xxx
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Post by Rilith on May 31, 2007 14:48:15 GMT
Awwww Thats really sweet. Thanks for sharing Hunni XXX
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Post by sarahncharlimai on May 31, 2007 16:13:38 GMT
Yes thanks for sharing that with us and a big welcome to you x x
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Post by mum2rachel on May 31, 2007 17:52:14 GMT
Karen , thank you for sharing with us about your brother, you must miss him very much. My daughter Rachel is just 5 months old& has DS but I had a similar experience to your parents in that an elderly nun told me that God must love us very much to have given us Rachel.
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Post by claireyd22 on May 31, 2007 21:33:05 GMT
Hi and welcome. Thank you for sharing that with us, it's a lovely way to think. I'm sorry to hear though that you have lost your brother, but hope you will share lots of stories about him with us on here. Take care xx
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