Now that Thomas is 2yrs I have recently started to wonder whether I should have another baby. I love the thought of a little brother or sister for my 2 but I don't know if I could go through with it. I love Thomas to bits and wouldn't change him for anything but there's no getting away from the fact that he's much more work than another child of his age. Before I had Thom I supposed I was blissfully naive about children with disabilities, but having him has really opened my eyes to the number of complications/problems that children can have. It scares me senseless to think that if I had another child it too could have a disability and I don't think I could cope with that. I know there are a lot of mums on here who have recently had another baby and I was wondering if any of you felt like this and if so, how did you get round this problem? Sorry if I seem nosy or seem to be rambling but this isn't something I can discuss with most people as they wouldn't understand where I'm coming from. I hope you guys don't mind me asking about this.
I noticed that you haven't had any replies yet. I'm not really in a position to comment as a single Mum of one with little prospect of any more for the forseeable future, lol. However, I can understand how you must feel anxious and I don't blame you at all for not feeling you could cope with another child with special needs. I don't think you should feel bad or guilty about it because it doesn't mean that you don't appreciate and cherish Thomas, it's a fact that he requires more input and support than most children and you can only cope with so many demands.
I reckon a 3 year gap (allowing time for planning,lol) sounds the perfect time to make him a big brother and I bet it will really help him come on and develop as well.
Good luck with whatever you decide. You have no more chance than any other expectant Mum of having another Downs child so don't let it put you off.
I would love another little one too, but the fact that my pregnancies have been non-stop sickness has put me off! Other mums I know in your position who have gone on to have other children have been closely monitored by their consultant, so I'm guessing the same would be for you which hopefully would help give you some peace of mind. I think it would be natural to worry a little but I guess in the end you need to go with what your heart tells you. I think probably the other mums like Shell, Rilith, Lizzy & Danni will have better advice but hope that's helped a little.
By the way the boys look gorgeous on your signature. Take care xxx
I just wanted to say that at the end of the day you would cope if anything was to go wrong with another pregnancy because at the end of the day you have no choice (dont mean this to sound harsh at all).
I was 20 when i had Joshua and had a completely normal pregnancy,but when he was born his birth weight was low,he didnt feed ,he didnt gain weight,he was constantly sick and cried all the time,i thought this was normal.it was then discovered he had a heart murmur and within weeks of this was diagnosed with williams syndrome. I always knew i wanted another baby didnt want Joshua to be an only child,so we stayrted trying again when he was 2ish,i fell pregnant straight away in feb but miscarried in march,fell pregnant again in may miscarried again in june,fell pregnant with twins in july but miscarried them in august,then fell pregnant with Aaliyah in november,with all the MC i decided against the amnio and thought everything would would be ok this time,i had my gorgeous baby girl but unfortunately as you know she has DS, i wouldnt change either of them for the world.i gues to some people it looks alot harder to cope with but at the end of the day what choice do we have,there our children and we cant change them.
My husband was determined that we would never have another baby as he was worried that we would have another special needs child,but some how he changed his mind and we are expecting our 2nd daughter on the 4th sept (c-section) i wont say im not worried because i really am,my bloods came back as 1 in 200 for DS again and although i really hope she doesnt have DS i know if she does we will cope,weve done it twice already.
So what im saying is the odds of you having another baby with DS is very low and only you and your partner can decide but i say go for it if that whats your hearts telling you,if i helps i was told there is only one other women with both a child with WS and DS and there fathers were different and ive never meet a person with 2 children with DS and niether has my consultant.
Love and best wishes Heather,Joshua and Aaliyah.xxx
Post by pinkshell1110 on Aug 19, 2008 12:50:13 GMT
hi vicki just wanted to say if it's what you both really want then u shud go for it hun. i didnt plan jasmin she was a complete shock (and still is lol) and i had all the same thoughts and worries as you babe.charlie hadnt even had his heart surgery and was only 6 months old, but i had a really good chat with my supportive HV and my obstetric consultant and after about a month of weighing things up i decided to go for it,jasmin has really brought charlie on sometimes not in a good way lol,she is very,very protective of him,she has learnt makaton so she can communicate with him and has even taught him some signs too. whatever decision you make babe you know we are all here for you lots of love shell,charlie and jasmin xxxxxxxx
Joshua was my first baby and it was a blow when we found out he was downs. We waited a few yrs before trying again and said that if anything was wrong with that baby then we wouldnt have anymore. when i was pregnant i refused all the downs test as i couldnt cope with the stress and worry. Maddie was born and she was fine. we then decided to go for baby no 3 and said the same thing as before and again i had no tests Kaitie was born and she was also fine. I am now pregnant with baby no 4 and again i have refused all tests so we will have to wait and see on this one but this is definatly my last baby anyway. goodluck if you decide to TTC
Thank you to everyone who has replied to my thread. Its nice to know that I'm not the only person to have had these worries. I do think that eventually we will try for another baby as the positives definately outweigh the negatives, even if this child had a disabilty. We will probably wait until the new year before we start trying tho as Thom will start school nursery in Sept 09 meaning I could have some time alone with the baby. Also, I was made redundant recently and finding a new job isn't proving that easy. I need to make sure that we're financially secure before having another child, especially now things seem to cost so much more!
Kate lyn is 5 now and she was my first baby. We had tried for a long time to get pregnant and had always wanted a few children. When we had Kate we discussed having more and decided that we would, the more siblings she had the better for her. We now have Christopher 4, Daniel 3 and Nicholas 4 months. Kate is a bright, active chatter box. Her brothers have no tolerance or sympathy when she is saying things they don't understand and this makes her think of another way of saying what she wants. When ever I was pregnant it was always at the back of my mind about whether it would strike again.