katy
Junior Member
Posts: 86
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Post by katy on Feb 18, 2008 12:48:57 GMT
i had a scan last week a normal scan for 20 weeks well so we thoght. our world was compleatly turned up side down and we were told that we need to have are scan 2moz as the fold in the neck is bigger than what it should and the heart is a little un normal and bubs appears to have sandle feet? we were not prepered for this at all we declined the blood test at 16 weeks as the risk came back solow with the first 2 and we new if it did ever happen bubs would still be wanted x Now we have been put in this situation we no for sure bubs is most defanitly wanted that has never crossed our mind its just the whole shock of it i dont quite no how to explain my feelings. Have i done some thing rong or not done some thing right i dont no x I hope i dont come across as nasty in any way because im not i just dont no what to expect and how to cope x
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Post by lisajg on Feb 18, 2008 13:21:42 GMT
Hi Katy Just wanted to say hello and give you a big hug, you'll find lots of people on this site who will understand what you're going through and please don't think for a minute that you've done anything wrong. My son Harrison has down syndrome and he was diagnosed during the pregnancy too, he is now nearly 4 years old. Feel free to ask any questions at all, everyone on here's really friendly
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katy
Junior Member
Posts: 86
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Post by katy on Feb 18, 2008 13:29:12 GMT
thank you hun x did you have the amneo? we will be offered it 2moz but im not 100% sure of it tbh x
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Post by lisajg on Feb 18, 2008 13:40:58 GMT
Hi Katy, Yes I did have an amnio, but my case wasn't straightforward (nothing with me normally is, lol), I had to have it because I had a condition called polyhydraminous - basicly I had a huge amount of fluid so they had to drain some to try and stop me going into prem labour. I know Rilith who is on here knew that her little Holly had ds before birth but not sure if she had the amnio, I'm sure she'll be along v. soon to advise. If you feel certain that you would go ahead and have your baby anyway then you prob need to ask yourself if you want to take the risk. I know it's a tough decision, will try and be here to support you through this as much as we can xx
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Post by sharon22 on Feb 18, 2008 13:59:43 GMT
Hi Katy
I am Sharon and my son Jack has DS. He is now 1 and 5 months and a real terror.
We did not know until he was born and we were devastated. Words could not explain how we felt.
I know for our own experience and everyone on this site we would not part with our special babies and children.
It will take a lot of getting use to and every other emotion that goes with it but trust me you will come out the other end and so will your little bundle
xx
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Post by Rilith on Feb 18, 2008 14:27:41 GMT
Hiya. My 3rd has Downs, we have 2 older boys too. We opted for ther amnio for the main reason of knowing. It wouldn't make any difference to our decision, but I know I couldn't handle the what ifs.
We didn't find out the sex though which was really good... LOL The amnio itself was simple and no problems from it at all. Its totally up to you though, don't feel pressured to do or not do. You do what is right for your family
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katy
Junior Member
Posts: 86
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Post by katy on Feb 18, 2008 14:56:35 GMT
thank you for the replys x i no we wont have the amneo 2moz we havent talked about it enogh i dont feel im ready to make the dishion x we want ti sowe know for sure and we can start to prepere our other 2 espesh the 5yr old as he has adhd and change is not a thing he likes x also i am a chldminder so would need to make preperations for work x
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Post by anita on Feb 18, 2008 20:03:14 GMT
Hi ya,
I didn't know until Henri was born that he had ds and it was a complete shock when the Dr's told me.
When he came out of hospital I was staying at my mums (as I had him in Devon) I didn't want anything to do with him my mum and hubby did it all. I was going to put him up for adoption, but as the months went by I slowly bonded with him. Now I wouldn't be without him he is my little cheeky monkey. He makes my day when he smiles at me in the morning. So I can say there is a light at the end of the tunnel. xx
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Post by karenh on Feb 18, 2008 20:19:13 GMT
Hi katy I had a high risk triple test result 1:87 and was offered an amnio, we refused but was offered a marker scan. We were told that the scan revealed no markers for downs syndrome and that it was very unlikely that our baby would have downs. I knew immeditaley after giving birth that Lucy had downs - although the "proffessionals" disagreed with me the karyotype confirmed what i knew. I love her to bits and she is perfect to me x
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Post by max on Feb 18, 2008 21:07:31 GMT
(sorry I asked questions in the other post - hadn't read this one yet!)
I didn't know about Caleb's "surprise" before he was born as nothing had shown on scans - when he was born he didn't (and still doesn't have many markers so there wasn't much to show up!) He does have sandle gaps though - a bigger gap between the big toe and the others, no big deal it just means he can kind of pick things up with his feet!!! I've been told that if I have more kids I can have an amnio but I've decided not to unless there are risks of other problems - I'm sure I remember Rilith saying that Holly had a risk of other genetic problems that were more sever? In that scenario I'd have an amnio but not otherwise. They can do really good scans these days (especially in London so I'll go there, my Dr is great at getting these things for me)
Downs syndrome can't be caused by anything you do so please don't feel guilty. it's there from the moment of conception as cells begin to seperate. It's nothing to be ashamed of and these days with medical help and professional therapy etc it's really no big deal! (in my opinion) When I was told the nurses suspected Downs I just cried myself silly. I held him and never wanted to let go but had to have loads of tests in hospital. I have never been so low in my life. BUT I soon realised that he is MY baby and he looks like me and my hubby, he has a great sense of humour, he is beautiful - and the downs is a minor side issue. I've had help every step of the way. Our children are precious and strong and any problems you come across someone here will probably have been through it.
Let us know how the scan goes. Love and hugs, xx
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Post by odiness on Feb 18, 2008 22:01:01 GMT
Katy, spooky but I have just posted the first installment of my story which tells of my experience of finding out about Jasmine's downs etc. Take a look, it's under experiences...
In short tho, I had an amnio which confirmed the diagnosis, my bloods came back as high risk. Clearly I decided to continue and have my baby (that's why i'm here, lol), sounds like your decision would be the same but I just wanted to say that it's not an easy decision to make and you and your hubby need to follow your heart. There are lots of people willing to judge you no matter what you decide so you just do what feels right and that will be the best decision for you and your family.
If you go ahead then get as much info as you can and ask for a detailed heart scan as this will prepare you for any possible health problems.
Good luck sweety. Lucy xxx
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Post by michelle1987 on Feb 19, 2008 18:42:04 GMT
hi im michelle we didnt know kimberly had ds until after she was born. it was a big shock as i was 19 and dp was 24 but she is the best thing thats happened to me,its hard when u c babies developing faster but when they do things it means so much more
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Post by tracy108 on Feb 19, 2008 19:10:35 GMT
hi i didnt know cory had ds before he decided to pop into the world .....i was told he was a girl and had a good strong heart beat ....he was very poorly when he was born and spent his first 3 months in hospital.....BUT....now there is no stopping him the only thing he cant do is chat but thats coming.....cory having ds never bothered me it was the heart problems that took there toll on me.....i have had people comment on my up beat approach to cory ...but wouldnt you be proud and up beat of any of your kids? ?
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Post by tracy108 on Feb 19, 2008 19:13:26 GMT
please read above with a smile its not a moan ...lol and dont you be presured into anything
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Post by pinkshell1110 on Feb 19, 2008 19:46:39 GMT
it's the same for me too, we didn't find out charlie had DS until he was 8 weeks old,it was a huge shock and after 24 hours of sobbing my heart out i realised we loved him so much before the diagnosis , so why should that change anything, the scary thing as with tracy and cory was he was so poorly and did have 2 holes in his heart which we knew about 4 weeks before his DS diagnonsis, as everyone has said ,dont be pushed into anything you dont want,ask LOADS of questions and get every scan possible for heart etc. but dont be afraid to ask anything on here we have all been through something similar and are more than happy to help lots of love hun shell,charlie and jasmin ccccccccccc
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katy
Junior Member
Posts: 86
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Post by katy on Feb 19, 2008 19:57:10 GMT
thank you everyone for your replys i reall am greatfull xx
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