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Post by Admin on Feb 12, 2007 20:34:02 GMT
A bloke is in a queue at the Supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand, smiled, and said hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry do you know me?" She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!".
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, "Christ!" he says "Are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates, whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my bum?".
"No" she replies, "I'm your sons' English Teacher!"
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Post by shirley on Feb 12, 2007 20:45:13 GMT
LMAO brilliant !!!
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Post by pinktorontogirl on Feb 13, 2007 18:24:25 GMT
that's fantastic!
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Post by Jojo on Feb 13, 2007 20:05:38 GMT
Pmsl!
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Post by pinkshell1110 on Feb 13, 2007 22:22:13 GMT
lmao !!!!!!!!!!
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Post by shirley on Feb 13, 2007 23:38:07 GMT
I know im really dum but what is pmsl ?
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Post by Daddy2Josh on Feb 14, 2007 10:18:39 GMT
pmsl = piss myself laughing
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Post by shirley on Feb 14, 2007 10:30:14 GMT
oh right very good !!!
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Post by nikki on Feb 18, 2007 11:42:21 GMT
lmao thats brilliant
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Jºe ,, (Y)
Junior Member
www.upforjosh.weebly.com
Posts: 136
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Post by Jºe ,, (Y) on Sept 4, 2007 7:59:55 GMT
good joke =)
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becca
Junior Member
Posts: 105
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Post by becca on Oct 12, 2007 18:50:55 GMT
hahahahaha
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Post by tracy108 on Oct 13, 2007 9:37:56 GMT
A little paper bag was feeling unwell, so he took himself off to the doctors. 'Doctor, I don't feel too good,' said the little paper bag.
'Hmm, you look OK to me,' said the Doctor, 'but I'll do a blood test and see what shows up, come back and see me in a couple of days.' The little paper bag felt no better when he got back for the results.
'What's wrong with me?' asked the little paper bag. 'I'm afraid you are HIV positive!' said the doctor.
'No, I can't be - I'm just a little paper bag!' said the little paper bag.
'Have you been having unprotected sex?' asked the doctor.
'NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little paper bag!'
'Well have you been sharing needles with other intravenous drug users?' asked the doctor.
'NO, I can't do things like that - I'm just a little paper bag!' 'Perhaps you've been abroad recently and required a jab or a blood transfusion?' queried the doctor.
'NO, I don't have a passport - I'm just a little paper bag!'
'Well', said the doctor, 'are you in a homosexual relationship?'
'NO! I told you I can't do things like that, I'm just a little paper bag!'
'Then there can be only one explanation.' said the doctor.........
........This is good - wait for it............ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YOUR MOTHER MUST HAVE BEEN A CARRIER!
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Post by Jojo on Oct 15, 2007 21:30:29 GMT
LMAO!!! That was great Tracey!!!!
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Post by tracy108 on Oct 18, 2007 12:03:19 GMT
A dad is on his way home a bit late from the office when he realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he has not bought her a gift. So he stops at a toy store to buy his daughter a Barbie. Inside he sees a Barbie display and asks the salesgirl how much the Barbies are. The girl responds: "Which one? We have:
Gymnasium Barbie: £19.95
Volleyball Barbie: £19.95
Shopping Barbie: £19.95
Surfer Barbie: £19.95
Disco Barbie: £19.95
And
Divorced Barbie: £299.95
Shocked, the man asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie £299.95 when all the other Barbies are £19.95?"
Exasperated, the girl responds:
"Sir, Divorced Barbie comes with":
Ken's Car
Ken's House
Ken's Boat
Ken's furniture
Ken's jewellery
Ken's money
Ken's computer, and
Ken's best friend....
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Post by lizzymd² on Oct 18, 2007 12:06:26 GMT
great jokes
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Post by sharon22 on Oct 18, 2007 12:41:56 GMT
brillant tracy
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Post by tracy108 on Oct 18, 2007 12:45:43 GMT
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
Two, but you have to get them into the lightbulb first !!
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Post by nikki on Oct 18, 2007 21:16:21 GMT
pmsl tracey where do you get these?
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Post by tracy108 on Oct 19, 2007 8:19:58 GMT
hee hee now that would be telling...lol
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Post by tracy108 on Oct 19, 2007 13:44:12 GMT
Guy walks into doctors and says, “I think I’m going deaf?”
Doctor says, “What are the symptoms?”
Man says, “A cartoon family with yellow faces, but what’s that got to do with it?”
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