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Post by odiness on Jun 14, 2007 18:57:11 GMT
Hi all
I actually think the reality of my situation is just starting to hit me! Please don't misunderstand because I don't regret my decision to have little Jasmine in the knowledge that she has DS.... I suppose I am just getting anxious now that her arrival is getting closer. I feel so unprepared. Being a single Mum is one thing which I felt certain I would deal with, now, knowing the challenges I might face and the uncertainty around my baby's health, I think the panic is setting in!
One part of me is really looking forward to her arrival, the other part is almost dreading it because I don't know how I will cope if she arrives and is dreadfully poorly and needs lots of help and surgery.
I feel like I should be doing something to prepare mentally, I've downloaded loads of info from Downs Association, any one got any advice of other things that I could do to help me calm down a little?
Thanks all,
Lucy x
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Post by Rilith on Jun 14, 2007 19:11:09 GMT
No advice really hun, just an understanding. I paniced about whether or not I would bond with Holly once she was born, or whether I would love her straight away. Would the Downs get in the way of me seeing my baby, would that be all that I saw once they handed her up to me. To reassure you, from the second I looked at her, I over-flowed with love. There was this lil teeny bundle of girlie goo, and she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I instantly loved her. I immediately wanted to love and protect her. We are very lucky in a way to know before oour special bundles are born. We are able to think about these things before the big day and able to reassure ourselves that what we are feeling is normal, and most of all that its OK to be worried and scared. Good on you for getting it out hunni Don't bottle it up
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Post by trinkle on Jun 14, 2007 20:21:29 GMT
It is normal to be anxious as the birth gets closer, but once William was born everything was fine and we loved him straight away, the staff were great and really helped in the first few days, had section so was in for 5. A lot of major probs are often picked up on the scans such as heart / bowl probs so hopefully all will be well. good luck.
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Post by Tace on Jun 14, 2007 20:40:17 GMT
Hi Lucy, your feelings are totally normal for any impending birth, I was like that with both my kids. Maybe you should calm down on focusing on the fact that Jasmine has Down's and try to bond with your bump....Just relax and enjoy the wonderful things that your body is going through and the fact that there is a wonderful beautiful baby girl growing inside you, your baby. You will be amazed at what you can cope with when you have to.
I used to play music to my 2 when they were still in my tummy, I would hold the headphones up to my bump and sing along, baths are nice too, I always found I could relax and stroke my bump and yabbble rubbish to it, I soo loved being pregnant! Can you tell? lol.
T x
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Post by claireyd22 on Jun 14, 2007 21:22:29 GMT
Hi Lucy. I really feel for you but i think its completely normal to feel anxious leading up to your baby's birth, even more so for you because you know that she has ds and the possible problems this may lead to. In a way though its good to have these worries now though so that when Jasmine in born you can focus on her. When I was having George we didn't know he had ds so when he was born we worried about everything and had so much information given to us it was all too much to take in. You sound like you've done lots of research and know alot of what to expect. The only info from our experience I can give to prepare you is that George couldn't feed so he had to be tube fed for the first few days and also couldn't maintain his body temperature so was in an incuabator for four days. These are both common in ds and as far as I know are not long term problems. There were some tests carried out in the first few days too, which were on his eyes to see if there were any cateracts and also to check his hearing. This may be different in each hospital though. I hope this helps you in some way, but I think you're doing fantastic and you've got lots of new friends on here to help. Take care xx
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Post by sarahncharlimai on Jun 15, 2007 13:56:40 GMT
I totally understand how you feel as i went through the same kind of things when i was pregnant, Just like Rilith said though all those thoughts disappeer when you are handed your beautiful baby, try to relax and enjoy the pregnancy remember we are here for you x
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Post by lisajg on Jun 16, 2007 18:34:49 GMT
Hi there I think it's to be expected that you are feeling this way, you've had alot to take on board and cope with. I agree it's really good that you're talking about how you feel, if you face your feelings head on you'll come through strong. I had similar feelings just before Harrison was born, part of me wanted the pregnancy to go on as long as possible, I felt like he was safe in my tummy and I was worried about what life would hold for him once he made an appearance, the other part of me couldn't wait for him to be born! Fingers-crossed your little angel won't have any medical problems when she arrives, but I hope it reassures you to know, although Harrison had complications and needed heart surgery the support I received from the doctors and nurses was amazing and even though we've been through tough times, everything that has happened since Harry was born has been life-changing for me in a hugely positive way. That may sound strange, difficult to explain really, but please don't be too anxious (easier said than done I know), you have lots of support here whenever you need it xx
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Jo
New Member
William & Oliver
Posts: 46
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Post by Jo on Jun 17, 2007 17:08:57 GMT
Just take one day at a time, enjoy where you are now, relax as with any child relaxing is a thing of the past later on. If you are still feeling troubled talk to some one, it's all OK downloading things but head office is there to help on the phone as well, they are brilliant people and real people who have gone through things as well. I was at head office only two weeks ago and it is such a great inspirational place. I know its easy to say don't worry because you are, but you will be surprised and it all kicks in when they are born and you see their little faces all sweet and cuddly. Then think of all the things that the children on this site alone have achieved. There is no stopping our children. Take care
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Post by maxine on Jun 19, 2007 19:00:37 GMT
Hi just popping on to say hi and to reassure you to try not to worry and look forwards to Jasmines arrival. I wondered all the what ifs and would I cope etc before Dominic was born, but mother instinct kicked in has soon has Dominic was in my arms and well, I would move heaven and earth for him. Where abouts in Cheshire are you? I have a friend with a son with DS in Hale and we are near Manchester.
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Post by Vicki on Jun 19, 2007 22:22:18 GMT
Don't beat yourself up feeling you have to know everything. Every child with or without DS is different. You sound as if you are going in prepared! that's half the battle! Everything changes the moment she is in your arm!
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Post by max on Jun 21, 2007 8:53:52 GMT
It may not be any help at all - but I have days like this too (am on a bit of a downer at the moment actually) I think I would worry if Caleb didn't have Downs as well. The thing that helps me is to tell myself that because Caleb has the diagnosis we have all the medical help there ready and waiting - everyone is watching him already! I had Caleb at the same time as a friend had her baby boy and she said she almost envied all the help I had. When Caleb had all his tests (his complete MOT as I called it) she said at least I knew there were no problems - she didn't know what was going on inside here baby and it was all down to her to pick up any problems and she found that a huge responsibilty and very daunting. I have people to help me every step of the way - as will you! Your little girl will be the light of your life and nothing will ever be the same again - in all the BEST ways!
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Post by jenjane1 on Jun 21, 2007 10:30:56 GMT
Hi Lucy, all the previous posters have gave you some good advice, I just wanted to send you a cyber hug ((())) It is to be expected that you are feeling anxious. Giving birth is nerve wracking enough without the added stress of having a child with special needs. It is just fear of the unknown and as soon as you have little Jasmine in your arms, the fears will disappear. Life will be challenging but so worth it and you will cope just fine. You have already got loads of info from the professionals and you know if we can be of any help, just give us a shout!! Take care, jen xx
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