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Post by missc on May 31, 2007 10:34:51 GMT
...about the whole 'a downs baby/child' or even just 'a downs'
I dont want to cause a big debate, Im just after you opinions,
- ive noticed a few people have said it on here so assumed that you dont really have a problem with it as no one has mentioned it?
I however have a big problem with it lol Am I just being silly?It really winds me up when people say a downs,or a down syndrome baby - he is my baby,I love him and care for him not downs! I always think that people put the syndrome first and the child second - theres no wonder thats what society see if we're seeing/saying it ourselves.
What do you all think?
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Post by claireyd22 on May 31, 2007 13:14:20 GMT
yes I totally agree with you on that one. I don't find it a problem if its a comment in general about kids with downs but when it is about a particular child i do think its offensive. Some one referred to George as 'a downs' and I really felt like saying 'no he's not a downs he's a baby'. I don't think people mean any offense by it though. I've done an artcile for our local newspaper for Downs Awareness Week next week and said about that in the interview so hopefully it will get put in. Did you see the soap awards last night? they even referred to the story line of 'Billy and Honey's downs syndrome baby' or something like that but I found myself correcting them out loud. Maybe we should just politely correct people so that they realise what they're saying. Have you found the thread in 'general ramblings' called 'people like this pee me off'? Quite an eye opener I can tell you, it will certainly get your blood boiling. Also lots of replies from us sane people on here saying exactly what you said in this thread, so you're definatelt not alone in feeling like you do x
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Post by pinkshell1110 on May 31, 2007 13:55:51 GMT
me too but i have to say that i have been known on occasion to say "IT" obviously not in a nasty way but if i happen to say a name and people don't know who i'm talking about i say the little one with Down's i guess i don't always think before i put my mouth into action,thats me all over lolxxxxxx
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Post by Rilith on May 31, 2007 14:52:47 GMT
OOO Like comments like "Thats them with the Downs Baby"
TBH I don't let it get to me. Its just someones ignorant way of pointing out the obvious to me. I think if anyone is entitled to be Non-PC about Downs its us.
I have also often wondered Does Holly HAVE Downs or IS Holly Downs??? You can Have a cold, or have chicken pox, but Downs is part of who she is so does that mean then she IS downs???
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Post by Jojo on May 31, 2007 14:53:17 GMT
I do sometimes, but then don't forget, we also say, 'a good child, naughty child, a 'normal' child. It's not to say they are just downs, just a part of them. But if the point that you are trying to get across, ie they're naughty,they're good, or they're downs, it just rounds it up in a quicker way I suppose.
Wow re-read that lol.....not sure if any one will understand any of it pmsl......
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Post by Rilith on May 31, 2007 15:07:31 GMT
LOL I understood you... Tee hee.
A mate of mine hates it when I say Normal kids, she tries to correct me and says Mainstream... LOL Makes me chuckle.
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Post by sarah on May 31, 2007 15:14:37 GMT
I hate it hate it hate it when people say downs child etc, especially professionals as they should know better!! It doesnt bother me on this site tho - as Rilith said we can be 'un pc' but other people cant!!! I get annoyed with myself for noticing it so much, but then I dont correct people... (well maybe a few...!!) xxx
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Post by lizzymd² on May 31, 2007 15:17:24 GMT
I think the ignorant people who don't know your child put the downs first and the child second.
I have to laugh when people get to know cameron and say
"he's alright there's nothing wrong with him"
thats when I pipe up and say no theres nothing wrong with him.
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Post by missc on May 31, 2007 18:44:13 GMT
Nice to know im not alone! There are lots of different syndromes out there and people dont call the kids that have those by the name of it (as far as I know) I think its horrible.
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Post by nikki on Jun 1, 2007 15:35:41 GMT
i dont let it bother me at all 2 me georgia is just georgia! rilth georgias doc said that u should say they are downs cuz u cant get rid of it does that make sense?? i was just think about that 2day how wierd
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Post by heather1979 on Jun 1, 2007 19:16:48 GMT
Well thought id add my 2 pence, i say Aaliyah has downs syndrome ,she isnt downs ,she is a little girl who happens to have downs syndrome. Heather.x
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Post by lisajg on Jun 1, 2007 20:16:14 GMT
Hi everyone, I have to agree with Heather. I always say Harrison has down syndrome and not 'is' downs. First and foremost he is a little boy, my little boy who has bright orange hair and a big cheesy grin when he's happy, a frown when he's cross etc etc. The down syndrome is only part of him, it doesn't define who he is, he has a personality and he's a little human being like all of us. Having said that I don't get offended very often now because I guess it depends how it's said, and who it's coming from. If I'm talking to anyone though I always say Harry 'has down syndrome' because I think it's important that I set the standard iykwim? I want people to look at Harry and see him - not the down syndrome - and I find once people know him they forget about the syndrome anyway. Hope that makes some kind of sense, rambling on a bit
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Post by Daniella on Jun 1, 2007 22:34:28 GMT
lisa, that makes perfect sense.
i agree with the 'has downs' not 'is downs' when we first met joshua's consultant we even told him that we wont have joshua compared to a 'normal child' but we dont mind him being compared to 'a child without downs'
the thing is though that on here we are all in the same position and so IMO we tolerate it more than we would do someone who doesnt have a child with downs. so it makes no difference whether we say has or is downs, we know how it is meant.
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Post by max on Jun 2, 2007 10:15:36 GMT
Got to say I hate people saying a Downs baby or that Caleb IS downs - I mean Downs syndrome is a title for a list of symptoms - you can't BE a list of symptoms, you can just have some or all of them. He's MY baby not DOWNS - it's like he belongs to someone else. Grrrrrrrr. My health visitor is great she says he is Trisomy 21 like he is blond or he is noisy but he just HAS some bits of Downs syndrome.
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Post by max on Jun 2, 2007 10:16:07 GMT
and as for "a downs" I'd refuse to even answer if someone said that!!!
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Post by sarahncharlimai on Jun 2, 2007 13:36:52 GMT
Ive never really thought about it that much until now, but like Heather if im talking to other people then i would say Down Syndrome but on here i say ds or down's cause i would not expect anyone to judge me on it and we are all in the same situation, i love Charli for the little girl she is, max: my hv says that 2 x
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Post by Tace on Jun 5, 2007 13:33:42 GMT
To be quite honest with you I hadn't given it much thought until you brought it up. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't really bother me, but I would think it a bit odd if someone said Leo "is" downs, he "has" downs, he "is" a little boy. But it wouldn't bother me too much. People put too much importance on the opinions of others, what matters are your own opinions and your own confidence in yourself. Rise above them I say, worry about something else more worth your anguish, like abused children, or making poverty history or something.
Just my 2 cents
T x
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Post by pinkshell1110 on Jun 5, 2007 23:13:07 GMT
got to say i am with heather too i always say charlie has Down's , but it doesn't really bother me, donna my eldest always say's "is Downs" dont know why.i have never really had anyone say anything like that to offend me but if i did i would just ignore it,to me charlie is charlie and he wouldn't be charlie without the DS, it's part of his fantastic character and his mega fantastic nature ,oooohhhhhh i just love him so bl**dy much love shell xxxxxxxxxxxx
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Post by sarahncharlimai on Jun 6, 2007 18:07:04 GMT
You are so right pinkshell i have said the exact thing many times before about my Charli!
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Post by maxine on Jun 22, 2007 23:44:48 GMT
I personally don't like the Downs baby thing, but it doesnt happen often, so it doesn't bug me. If it does I always say 'Dominic is no relation to Dr Downs, he's a Waith baby and belongs to me' and that usually shuts them up lol. I'm with Lisa on the rest. I just see Dominic, my cheeky lovable little monkey not DS. I've stopped saying 'normal kids' cause there's no one normal. I say 'typical' and boy does that wind some people up .
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Post by Vicki on Jun 27, 2007 19:48:14 GMT
I don't meet alot of people who ask me to my face about Katelyn. I do get alot of "Ah she's beautiful, they are so special, she must be a joy!" It's the "they" that offends me. She doesn't belong to a group, she's mine!" Another thing - when people do talk to her they ignore my other two who are jumping about doing cartwheels to be noticed! Christopher asked the other day "If Katelyn has Downs Syndrome, does that mean I have Ups Syndrome?"
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Post by healen on Jun 27, 2007 20:39:33 GMT
To tell u the truth I haven't said 'he has downs' to anybody , obviously family ,friends ect know but I just treat him as my baby nothing else . It really gets to me when people say 'theres not much wrong with him' ! My mother-in -law and myself went to the hairdressers with gabe in tow she had her hair cut and then took gabe for a walk while I had mine cut, the hairdresser was asking me all sorts of stuff about downs the usual like did u know u were having a downs baby ect but then she asked "will he be able to walk" I was like OMG!! I won't be going back there it's safe to say!
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Post by max on Jun 28, 2007 12:46:35 GMT
some people have no idea!!! Mind you at least you were able to educate the hairdresser! I have started going to a special needs mum and tot group (it's run by the NHS where we live and is the easiest way to keep in contact with the therapists) one of the other mums offended several of us by talking about a therapy thing she goes to and added "I've not seen many downs there" I wouldn't call her kids "a cerebal Palsy" would I??!! there are 3 children/babies with downs there and all the mums looked very taken aback!
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Post by mashpotato on Jun 28, 2007 16:45:15 GMT
When i speak about Saul i say he has Downs. But i'm not offended by is Downs. i put it down to bad grammar, lol, and i'm awful for that my self, (as my open uni teacher has told me so i may not pass my course) People have had a simlar discussion about the word retard being used. Talking about for example kids mucking about in the street calling it to each other. I would never go over and have a go at them. i'm not offended by the word, the only time i would be offended is if it was directly aimed at calling Saul a retard. Then obviously i would be correcting them. I've never had anyone be rude about Saul and hope i wont. we did go swimming with his young aunties at easter and some boys were talking about his umbilical hernia saying it was ugly. I didn't hear but his 10 yr old auntie was going to punch them, instead her glare scared them off first. So i know his always protected by her, lol
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