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Post by nikki on Dec 12, 2007 15:13:48 GMT
pmsl tracy thats good
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Post by tracy108 on Dec 12, 2007 15:23:34 GMT
A recent scientific survey showed that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged masculine features and when she is menstruating she prefers a man doused in petrol set on fire and a pair of scissors stuck in his forehead.
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Post by tracy108 on Dec 20, 2007 9:51:26 GMT
One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon when Pedro said "hey, Mamacita, let's do Weeweechu". "Oh no, not now. Let's look at the moon!" said Rosita. "Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu - I love you and it's the perfect time" Pedro begged.... "But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon" replied Rosita. "Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me?" Rosita looked at Pedro and said "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu".
Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang: \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ "Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year".
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
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Post by tracy108 on Dec 20, 2007 10:05:06 GMT
CHRISTMAS STORY*
When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones,
Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mum was coming to visit. This upset Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.
More stress!
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the sacks split, and the toys fell to the ground in the snow.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard he discovered that the elves had finished off the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.
In his desperation, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritable Santa trudged to the door which he opened to find a little angel with a great big Christmas tree!
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree!
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Post by mum2rachel on Dec 20, 2007 15:25:51 GMT
I like that last one bout the fairy- very funny
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Post by shirley on Dec 20, 2007 15:39:40 GMT
Very funny Tracey !!!
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